It’s been about two and half weeks since first trimester ended and I still haven’t sat my first exam. It really is a drag when ¾ of the student population have finished all their exams, and then there’s me who hasn’t even sat one yet. Well, my first one is this coming Friday. I’m going to fail that one. I know it. Fuck.

The next and last(!) exam will be Chemistry on the coming Tuesday. I’m…unsure about that one. I’ve told everyone, and myself, a million times that I intend to just pass that paper. I hate Chemistry but it’s required, so I’m just going to pass it. I’ll be glad if I actually pass it though…

The Saturday straight after my last exam, I’ll be going on a little vacation with two of my friends for four days. It’ll be interesting, me thinks. Not stating where I’m going cause I’m paranoid about my privacy but I’ve never been to this city, hell, I’ve never been to 95% of this whole country (New Zealand). I’ve told my friends that it’ll be a first for me to visit this city, so excited!

I’ve been planning a Teacup 2.0 for the past few months now but I haven’t been happy with where the design ended up. I must have thrashed at least three designs. And I don’t know if other people follow this rule (highly unlikely), any designs that I thrashed are archived. Never to be used. Ever. Again. It feels…dirty to recycle layouts.

An example of her being very supportive </sarcasm> like a friend should…I use to do Taekwondo but I quit not to long after my first exam. (I’m an official yellow belt. Don’t mess with me, hee-yah!) There are a couple of reasons why I quit. The first and foremost was because the instructor kept pairing me up with this friend. So every time we spar, I’ve got to kick and punch her as much as I can. But I can’t. Never once in my short time in that class have I ever lifted a hand with the only reason to hit her. It’s wrong. I just can’t do it. So of course everyone thinks she’s better at fighting, I’m not disputing that. It was my decision, and till today, I won’t change a damn thing. This reason, I have never told anyone before, till today not even my family knows this was one of the main reasons why I quit.

The other reason, which everyone thinks is why I quit, is because I don’t like people touching my neck. I flinch really hard when anyone even puts a hand within 20cm of my neck. And as we progress more in Taekwondo, we’ve got to touch other people’s neck and vice versa. I knew I couldn’t handle that, so I left.

That was at least four to five years ago. Come back to today…I was walking with her and we past this guy giving out fliers about a self-defense course. I wanted to grab it but we were rushing for the train so we walked past him but as the guy tried giving it to her, she said back to him, “No need! I’m doing Taekwondo.” I looked at her and felt like…she’s being smug? Maybe it’s just me but I swear sometimes she likes to have a pissing contest. Anyway!

As we walked, I said quietly that I’d perhaps like to try my hands on self-defense. Streets aren’t safe now and it’s better to have some kind of self-defense, than nothing at all. And she instantly used her hands and reached for my neck. So of course, reflex made my flinch at least a meter away from her. Then she smirks at me and says something like, “Hah! You can’t let anyone touch your neck! And you’re thinking of self-defense?”

And that was all she said. End of topic. I was…well, I just kept quiet. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do. At least it’s off my chest now…

Change of topic. Yesterday I had dinner with a few of my friends. Doesn’t include the one mentioned above. Anyway! I ordered a dish with a description of “served on a sizzling hot plate”…something like that. It was a cold night, I thought “Oh yeah, hot plate! Keep me right warm and toasty!” What actually came though, was a fucking downright disappointment. I read the words “hot” + “plate” and think of an actual hot plate. What came though, was a white plate, which felt like it just came out of a dishwasher. It was such an utter disappointment. And a rip-off.

PS. Click for the music playing to this post. Usual disclaimer apply. I don’t own it, please delete off your server after two days, blah blah. You have been warned. Anything after two days is not in my hands.

Oh yeah, may have been ranting on about DS and all that, below are my latest purchases. The DS Lite was from JB-Hifi while the cellphone charms from a private LJ seller. With the LJ seller, the only reason I bought from her was because the items were going at a really low price.

Forgive the smallness in the “big” preview. Not too sure what’s up with my YAWCAM software. *smacks YAWCAM* I haven’t touched the image settings at all but somehow it’s gone smaller. When I try and get it back to the size it was before, it was a “non-existent” image specification. Yeah right.

Right, the DS. It’s a DS Lite in coral pink. That was the last DS Lite in the store. Instant buy right there. And straight after, I got myself the Pokemon HeartGold. I’m going slow with that game. Trauma Center takes priority. I’ve got patients suffering from GUILT that needs my ~healing touch~. I’m slowly levelling up my Pokemon with the Pokewalker though. It’s on myself most of the time.

With the keychains, they are super-mighty-awesome! The left-most one is a bun and it smells like a real bun! Not joking. I’m being really real here. (＾▽＾) The other two supposedly flashes if a call is incoming (after plastic tab is removed, duh!) I’m waiting until my New Zealand charm breaks off to use these new cuties.

In real life, I attended a 21^st on Saturday night. It was OK. My two other friends and I left at about 12:30AM. I expected to last until about 2AM, guess not. But there’s another 21^st in about two weeks so I’m hoping to last a bit later next time. I learnt that next time, to last late through the night, don’t take a “food” break.

Within three hours, I had already downed three drinks. And these weren’t pissy low alcohol beers/wines. I started off with a Mojito, followed by a Midori/Lemonade mix, had a few sips of Grand Marnier with Lemonade mix finishing off with Cointreau/Lemonade mix. I did not like the Grand Marnier because it had that raisin taste. Yuk. Total spent = NZD ~$30.  Me = (ーー;)

I’ve got a Chemistry assignment which I need to beat with a stick to death at the moment, so…that’s all folks!

I was very upset about the redundancy. And the manager I told you about? Not a good working relationship with her at the moment? Well, if the news she was telling me wasn’t generally categorized as “sad”, she probably would have broken out the champagne and thrown a jamboree party before, during and after she told me the great redundancy news. Not kidding. Her face was trying, and failing for that matter, at containing her smile at the news. Well, that lazy bitch can jolly well…whatever. If I was such a shit employee, why is everyone else sad at seeing me go in a couple of months?

I just wish people weren’t so…frustrating to deal with sometimes. At university, it’s the inconsiderate bastard talking away in a quiet section of the library or the tutor who can’t be bothered helping you find out what’s suppose to be happening, at work it’s the manager who doesn’t know how to behave like a manager or the colleague who’s always taking time off to “study” when we all know she’ll probably waste it on partying until the morning and at home, the brother who’s so lazy that a sea sponge will appear more hardworking.

After I left work today, I felt so dejected and started planning out a lazy holiday after my exams in June. So far I’ve got down that I’ll probably take the train to travel, camp out at a motel/hotel for probably 2-3 days, take the train back. Not too sure yet…all I want is a break from this…madness. I can’t take it anymore. And this holiday is just me. No one to accompany me and tell me what to do, or take advantage of me and all that. It’ll be just me. Like it’s always been.

I came across this handy-dandy post that shows a few tips and tricks on optimizing Firefox. I have to recommend the browser.cache.disk.capacity tip. I always knew that Firefox is a real RAM hogger but I didn’t know how to combat this without actually breaking Firefox. Then came along this article and I feel a bit safer knowing that I’ve set a limit that Firefox can’t override.

The fix to my pop-up issue is the last one. And thank god for it! I have already set in my Firefox options menu to always open pop-ups in a new tab. But somehow, some sites doesn’t follow that rule and half the time, will crash my Firefox because of trying to open annoying pop-ups. I’ve used the trick in that article, tested it out, and by my holy moly spaghetti it works! I can now continue along on my happy-browsing walkway.

In real-life, I’m thinking of taking up dancing. Hip-hop/contemporary dancing. Seriously. I’ve been checking out local dance theaters that offer this type of dance classes for beginners like me. There’s only one dance theater around here and the only way to contact them is by calling. The urge to take up this type of dancing came really suddenly and it just won’t go away…I’ll probably call them up to see about this sort of classes. Hmm…

Anyway, Dave is…I don’t know. He really wants to meet me again for dinner and drinks but he’s 28, I’m only 20. (Rain is 30. Don’t ask. He actually looked like 25 though.) I don’t really mind the age-gap but I’m so concerned about what my friends think. I try not to think about that but I just can’t help. It’s like, I need their approval. Dave and I have been emailing each other since Saturday but I sent him an email last night about dinner/drinks. I just laid out my cards just because then, there’s no confusions if we do meet up again.

In the email, I said something along the lines of let’s be friends first so that we know each other a little bit more. Then when we’re more comfortable with each other, we’ll see how it goes. I mean, when I first met him at the concert, we talked. A lot. I still can’t believe how much “personal” stuff I told him. And he still wants to meet up with me. I thought the personal baggage will drive him running away. He’s OK, I think but I just don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t know. I’m just so confuse about him. I just have no idea what to do with him. One part of me is telling me to give him a chance, but another part of me is saying no, because he’s 28 and probably wants another floozy or something.

Well, I’ve put the ball in his court. I’ve got no expectations whatsoever after sending that email. If he’s up for slow and steady friendship, then I’ll have more respect for him. If he’s not, then I’m probably not going to meet him just because he’s not thinking about what I have to go through. But I hope he does.

So instead, I’m going to quickly skim over things that make up my life/day right now. Work is going okay, I don’t think I’m performing at 100% yet but I hope to be by the end of February. Also got told off by my supervisor that my slippers aren’t “professional”, looking to buy a more professional-looking slippers, checking out Gisele Bundchen’s Ipanema range currently. Can’t buy shoes right now because it technically is still Chinese New Years, and the Chinese have this superstition where we do not buy shoes during the 15 days of Chinese New Years.

Got free tickets to a concert in town tomorrow. Unplanned trip but I definitely am going with my friend. I had one more extra spare ticket but the friend which I am giving it to is seriously fucking me off. But I already told her the ticket is hers, so I can’t do anything about it. Oh well.

I’ve also set out a few goals for myself this year. Make at least one new friend this year, perform exceedingly well at my current job so that when I leave, they’d be crying a river and missing me a whole heap, and also to get at least a B average this year at university.

Well, sorry for the long break from the last post but I’m slowly deciding what I want to do with myself and all that mushy stuff. =3

Then I had to go to my doctor to calm my mother’s worries. So then comes the required blood sample. But this time, I also need to send off a “stool” sample. Can this day get any more…tiresome and frustrating? *head/desk x839274* Oh yeah, that’s right, I have no running water for the next six hours. Or more. I’m just about ready to burst all over the house with my urine, damn it!

I’m just going to go crawl into my deep, dark hole now.

Was that so hard?! NO, IT ISN’T.

It’s ALWAYS “up to you”.

I asked him if he would like me to accompany him to fetch my mother from the train station. “Up to you”. I asked him more than three fucking times, and he either says back to me, “up to you” or “would you like to go?” HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT to just say a simple fucking ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I don’t know about him but IT’S PRETTY FUCKING EASY.

On a lighter note, my friend is trying to get me an interview at her office for an administration position. I’m trying to keep calm and cool about it. I may or may not get it so I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch. Nonetheless, I’ve got to keep up with my typing and brush up on my non-existent interview skills. Since I know I’ll probably trip, fall and blunder my way through the interview, it’s not a question of how good or bad I did. It’s how bad is it. What’s the damage?

If a friend or relative makes a racist or homophobic remark, do you tend to confront them or let it slide? Are you more likely to confront them if it offends you directly or someone else who seems reluctant to speak up?

This reminds me of the one time I actually received a racist remark right to my face. It was back in Year 10 (think, 14 years old). I just changed schools. I think we were half way through the year, something happened and this white obese guy from my class just went on a rage and called me yellow and told me to go back to China. Uhm, I wasn’t from China though…never stepped foot on their land in my whole entire life as well, but that’s not the point.

I had no real close friends and I was, and still am, a timid girl. You wouldn’t know from my blog, eh? He had all his possies with him, and make no mistake, they are just as large as him. They were all huge and look just like freaking godzilla! He starts screaming the remarks at me, the possies looked uncomfortable and by the time he finished, he only had a handful left behind him.

So I’m sitting on a staircase, trying to stop crying and suddenly, my knight in shining armor came in the form on my crush. My crush and the bastard was what you call “home-boys” or “homies” or whatever the hell they go by nowadays.

He tells the bastard to shut the fuck up, stop acting like a dick and, this is the best part, apologize to me. My crush. Standing up for a girl he barely knew. How…fairytale does that sound? Unfortunately, we never got together. At that time, he had a girlfriend. After that, I just rarely saw him at college.

Back to the question, if it’s a friend who made the remarks, I’ll drop them before they can say, “I’m joking!” If they consider me a friend, they should know what I expect out of a “friend”.

But if it’s a relative, I would call them out right there and then just because it’s embarassing to have a relative with that thinking in this age and time.